When a holiday is not a holiday where you live

I've written before about the difficulties of raising a bicultural family. But truth be told, most days I don't think about it.

Holidays, however, are an exception.

The challenges a two culture family faces when attempting to incorporate both cultures in to daily life is fully confronted during holiday season. Especially when a holiday is not a holiday in the country where you reside.

Cue Thanksgiving.

We do Thanksgiving. Like full on do Thanksgiving (I even handmade decorations this year).

Our decorations

I cook (with a bit of help) for 30 or so people. Turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, pies... the works.

Our 2013 spread, minus the desserts

We hold a late dinner on actual Thanksgiving day and people typically arrive late and don't stay very long.

Why? Well, because Thanksgiving is not a holiday here. There is no vacation on Thursday, and no vacation on Friday. So, while people in the US are shopping "Black Friday" holiday specials on one of their days off for the 4-day holiday weekend, kids here have school and adults have to go to work.

We eat all of the parts here. Nothing goes to waste!

Even I was supposed to attend a school meeting at 6:30 at Kesha's school. I sent them a polite email informing them that it was a holiday in my culture and we had an important family meal that evening and I would not be in attendance.

This year my invitation asked people to arrive by 7:00. However, I selected my invitation time knowing that most people would not show up until closer to 7:30. And surely enough, people had work, meetings, appointments, evening activities, and most didn't appear at my mother-in-law's house until closer to 7:45. We were finally eating by 8:00. I was in home and in bed by 10:30.

Our 13 kilo (almost 30 pound) bird.

So, as you can see, the Thanksgiving "sit around eating all day while catching up with friends and family from late morning/midday to late in to the evening" is not really a thing. But, it is a wonderful reason to gather together with friends and family and share my culture and holidays with them all (and I know everyone appreciates a giant, 30 pound turkey being cooked for them too).

Some of our friends and family enjoying dinner

Even though Thanksgiving is a lot of fun here, and I love doing it. You do not get the same "once a year super special event" feel you get in the US. It is not cold or dreary here. There are no beautiful red, orange, brown leaves coating the ground. There is no smell of fall or crispness of the coming winter season in the air. It doesn't get dark early in the evening and make you glad you're all together and warm indoors. And those with which I share the holiday do not fully grasp the concept of the changing seasons and all that celebrating Thanksgiving encompasses. For them it is simply another meal with friends and family that happens at some point in November that I might remind them about and extend an invitation to at some point. No one is anticipating it. Looking forward to it. Reminiscing about what this holiday was like for them as a child.

The "ugly cake"

  

Homemade squash pie (aka: pumpkin pie)

I fear that my girls will also lack this comprehension. As they are celebrating something that is from my world, not theirs. However, I am thankful that they get to experience it. No matter what form it comes in. Hopefully what we do as parents will help them build their own memories of what Thanksgiving encompasses, and that doesn't have to be what mine was. Nor do I suppose it would ever be what mine was. In that I take comfort. For that, I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving.


*This is indicative of my own personal experience